Advice from real students

• Compile all your applications early--August if possible--and make a consolidated list of essay prompts so you can begin to plan ideas very early, even if you cannot get yourself to write them just yet. Also remember that there is a time and a place for thinking about college--don't stress when it's out of your hands.

• Start early, get it done. The amount of work you have will only multiply, so it is best to get it done while you have ample time. This will also help you get scholarships and other financial aid.

• If you are really determined to get into a particular school, show them how badly you want to go there. If they give you the option of attaching extra information, do. If you are, for example, deferred, write to the Dean, tell them what their school has that really excites you and that you don't find at any other school. Obviously, send additional information and letters only in moderation, but don't be afraid to be aggressive in pursuit of your dream school. Sometimes the extra effort can tip the scale for you.

• This seems like a contradiction, but...Have an idea of what you want in your school when you are choosing where to apply. Don't just apply to a big range and then decide to figure it out later. At the same time, don't only apply to the specific type of school that you think you want because you might change, and you'll want options open to you.

• Use the visit. If you fly back home without talking to as many people as will speak to you, visiting a class, eating the food, asking every question you can come up with, you will have wasted the plane fare. Don't apply to places you don't want to go to. Apps are expensive and a lot of work and downright silly if you haven't done the research ahead of time. Don't kill yourself for not getting into your top choice. I was rejected at Yale (my #1) and accepted at Columbia, which shows you how random the process is at the highest levels. If they don't want you, you don't want them either. Laugh. There are some hilarious things about this crazy process. Take yourself too seriously and you'll miss out.

• Carefully consider each school you apply to and really think if you could see yourself there!  Listen to everything that Katherine suggests!

• Look at all your options. So many are just beneath the surface. Be prepared for hard work. It'll be worth it!

• Although a huge process with ridiculous pressures applied, it is "just college." There are dozens of wonderful colleges and universities out there, many of which would be great for your student. Apply wisely, and the odds of getting into some are excellent.

• Start early! It's nice to sit back and relax your senior year when everyone else is stressing out!

• Get started promptly!

• Start early. No senioritis (until the end).

• Once you get into college, it isn't over. Stay focused for the next few months. It really doesn't take that much more energy to do so.

• Start the application process early!!!

• Get started early (spring of junior year).

• Many younger students have asked how I "got in" to highly selective colleges. My best advice to those people is simply to BE YOURSELF. Don't try to change your personality or interests or opinions to cater to what you think the admissions committee is looking for. You'll be best at telling others about your real life anyway -- so put yourself out there, and they'll see you for the amazing, accomplished person you are. This seems cliche, but I really do think it is true.

• Start writing essays early!

• Apply Early Decision!

• Find a system of organization that works or you to distinguish between college apps, and guarantee that you turn in all components on time. For me, it was creating a desktop folder for each of my colleges and storing the essays and necessary supplements in the respective folders.

• Put some time into researching specific majors and research opportunities of interest, not broad generalities. Talk to professors in your field, if possible. Don't put too much stock in social impressions at admit weekend -- students of similar interests are most significant, not the student body as a whole.

  Advice from real PARENTS

• Don't let other parents' panic spread to you. Know that your student will complete his/her essay at the last possible second. I don't recommend turning over the application entirely to the student. The process is too important to be used as a lesson of natural consequences.

• Stay positive. If you get deferred from the college of your choice, keep on it. Write a new letter about the wonderful things the student is doing in 12th grade. It just might work.

• Stay informed. Buy the guidebooks and keep on top of deadlines for exams and applications. But while doing these things, always acknowledge that the student is in charge. They are the ones that should feel that sense of accomplishment when everything is signed and in the mail.

• Understand how stressful this time is for students. Offer support, but don't expect your child to want much direction from you. And if you have a counselor, be oh so grateful!

• There are many wonderful choices for your student!

• Don't necessarily trust your student to get it done. Get involved!

• Arrange assistance for their student with someone like Katherine. It was a main reason we parents and our student had decreased stress and more confidence to move through the process.

• Asking for recommendations from teachers at the very end of junior year or very beginning of senior year is a great way to feel "on top" of the process, and to give teachers a little warning. Students can't give them recommendation forms at this point, but at least they'll know they are coming. Visiting colleges when it is possible is a great help. Make sure the prospective student gets a chance to talk to other students, visit classes, eat in cafeterias, and see or stay in dorms.

• Start early by visiting colleges, because the list at the end may not be at all like the initial schools visited. When visiting, have your child stay overnight in a dorm with friends, contacts, or absolute strangers they meet wandering around the campus. Encourage your child to sit in on classes, and pre-arrange if possible.

• Look for a good fit for your student, not just a big name. Start early! Get help from Katherine or some other advisor/counselor!

• This is all about where your child is going to college. It's not about you. Obvious, but easy to forget in the mass hysteria.

• [An important part of the process] is to draw college-bound students out and to get them to know themselves, listen to themselves, and be themselves. And that makes the whole process a useful one, regardless of the outcome of the admissions decisions, over which so few people have direct control.

• Every student is different and needs different guidance. But the benefit of an outside skilled and trusted advisor is that family relationships don't get shredded during the college search and application process. We could relax more.

• Trust in the process. Be easy with your student and your own anxieties. Whatever your sense of right or wrong, the process has changed and so have the time and activities necessary for applying to schools. Your student will get in and with wonderful choices.

• Start the process early, if possible, but be aware that as time goes on, a student may change his/her mind about exactly what they want in a college! This happened to my daughter -- she wished to go to a small college, but during her senior year, decided she would rather go to a mid-sized school.

• DON'T PANIC! Don't expect your first-choice college to be the same as your child's.

• To each his own....